The Global Television Industry today publicly thanked the human race for devolving to the point where they will lap up any old rubbish.

In a press release, spokesman Elvis Carter praised medical and technological advances for enveloping people's lives so much that most of them do not realise that if nature was still in charge of natural selection, they would certainly not exist.  This nonchalance towards their own existence has been very profitable, he said, and has allowed ridiculous amounts of money to be made out of what is essentially the output of humanity's wastepipe, being filmed shouting at each other.

"It fattens the paychecks of our hearts to see the continued demand for this dreck.  We are especially pleased by the role that the American education system and cognitive dissonance both play in allowing the moronic viewer to watch back-to-back episodes of organisms scrambling around at the bottom of the gene pool, without any sense of irony." said Elvis.

"We sincerely hope that you continue to watch our exploitation of Grade A, medically-untreatable mental retardation in the constant hope that you are vacuous and slutty enough to be next on the meatpile."

It is fully expected that 2010 will be an even bigger year for reality television, with its progress failing to be hampered by anyone's shame or sense of decency as networks brainstorm the next categories of people they can package as targets of hate.  When questioned about the divisive nature and the way in which such programming breeds contempt by humans who happen to have been born in one part of the world towards other humans who happen to have been born in a different part of the world, the Global Television Industry's representative went on record as saying "Social responsiwhatnow?".

MTV Networks made a separate statement thanking lazy television writers for taking the bait of "Jersey Shore".

"Wow. I mean, we just put that one out there and you gulped it down like a big ol' bass now, didn't ya?  It was so shiningly obvious that we didn't even think you'd go for it, but I guess there's no limit to your desperation for content.  Certainly not enough that you won't write the 76th version of that same joke.  Or perhaps it's a noble effort to reclaim the word 'situation' for those whose vocabularies contain no larger words."